‘P’ is for Puppies

Once again Nelsie and Patience mine their pain and bitterness to - hopefully - entertain you. Enjoy!

N: I got another rejection letter from some agent that I sent the script to. I finally followed up and he was like, “Oh yeah, we passed.” God! It makes me really angry. It makes me just want to get really successful and then be able to say to them, “See! You are so stupid. You had your chance and you missed out.”

P: Yeah, I know. I was just thinking today that it’s not enough anymore to have had breast cancer and write about it in a really great way. Do I have to be, like, twenty and have uterine cancer and breast cancer at the same time?

N: Maybe if you were a meth addict and had breast cancer.

P: Or I could have 4 breasts to begin with…

N: Ooh! That’s a good twist. No one’s done that.

P: And my litter is in danger of being orphaned.

N: It’s an Animal Planet series in a heartbeat. Forget ‘Meercat Manor’, we’ll call it ‘Patience and her Puppies’. I can see the poster. You’re there looking sort of befuddled with a bunch of puppies trying to nurse you.

P: And I’ve got my arms up with a ‘who knew?’ look on my face.

N: But you have the headscarf on because you’re going through chemo.

P: And there are all these doctors clamoring to get at me.

N: Yeah, you’re in your hospital room.

P: Or maybe I’m at the vet.