From Fruit Flies to Tennessee

(We are in the Hungarian bakery near St. John the Divine. Patience gets distracted by a bug buzzing around her head.)

P: Jeez, there sure are a lot of fruit flies in here.

N: Or there’s just one fruit fly that really likes us.

(Patience goes to swat it and then stops herself.)

P: No, if it’s my father reincarnated, I don’t want to kill it.

N: You think your dad came back as a fruit fly? Very funny!

P: Yeah, if it is my father, it’s definitely a fruit fly.

(The fly buzzes her again.)

P: AGH! POP! Stop buggin’ me!

N: Well, if it’s a fruit fly he’s only got like 23 more hours to live anyway.

(Patience swats and misses and he flies off)

P: There he goes, zooming off.

N: He’s off to hobnob with some celebrity fruit fly.

P: Did I tell you that I just got my 5th rejection from a literary agent?

N: That’s not possible! Your memoir’s so funny. What did they say?

P: Something about it being a hard market to break, or nut to crack or something.

N: I’d like to give their nut a crack! I hate them!

P: I’m disappointed! But it’s with another agent so all is not lost and even if they say no -- 800 query letters, right? Isn’t that what it took that screenwriter guy to get an agent?

N: Yes! And it took Tennessee Williams 12 years to get Glass Menagerie produced.

P: (imitating an old-time agent, maybe from Brooklyn) Hey, Tennessee, listen – This whole “Glass Menagerie” thing -- it’s just not doin’ it for me. Glass? I don’t know. Maybe try something with clay or something... And menagerie? Too many syllables. I don’t want to have to reach for my dictionary, y’know?

N: (playing along as another agent) Hey! How ’bout “zoo”? The Clay Zoo! How ‘bout that? But it’s not just the title. The whole storyline needs work. There’s a crippled girl and then the guy rejects her? It’s not happy, Tenn. Mind if I call you Tenn?

P: It’s a downer. Up, Up, Up! My people want up! Try to get something going a little more like “Honey I Shrunk the Kids” and get back to me.

N: Listen Tenn, you’re a fun guy. Get a couple a cocktails in you and you’re hysterical! The stories you tell at parties – love em! We need a little more of that stuff, y’know? Snappy!